Sunday, November 18, 2007

Manual Labor

My mother and younger sister visited this weekend from Philadelphia. It was so nice to see them. My sister brought "Rushmore" for us to watch, and I forgot how much I love that movie. It's nearly perfect, and is there anyone better at playing broken men looking for redemption than Bill Murray? The answer is no, there is not. I didn't remember anything inappropriate about this movie (since I'd last seen it before I had children), so we were watching it while the kids were up and playing. And then the conversation between Max and the crazy Scottish kid about exactly why Max was expelled...uh oh. But it was OK...they were so wrapped up in their Legos that they didn't even hear it. Excellent.

5 minutes later:

Mom, what's a hand job?

Shit.

Nothing sweetie. But don't say that. Especially at school.

But Mommy, HAND is not a bad word, and JOB is not a bad word, so why can't I say "hand job"?
(Damn you Wes Anderson and Owen Wilson...it's all fun and games until first graders start spouting off about hand jobs during recess.)

It's hard to explain sweetie...it's just that those two words together aren't very nice, so don't say it, OK?

OK

whew

wait for it...

Well Mom, is it a job you do with your hand, or is it like when you break your hand and the doctor has to fix it and he has to do a hand job? On your hand?

My mom and sister both leave the room at this poin, their faces are purple with restrained hysteria. Damn them, they brought the movie!

No sweetie, none of the above. Just trust me, don't say it. Promise me you won't say it.

OK, I won't.

No mention of hand jobs or any other kind of jobs for the rest of the weekend. I'm hoping he's forgotten it.

15 comments:

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

I know it's mortifying for you parents but it's funny as heck to me when I hear little kids say stuff like that. It's especially funny becauae they have no idea what it means.

CDP said...

I know, and it really WAS funny, but I'd still hate for him to start talking about hand jobs at school!

Suze said...

I'm hoping you don't get a call from the teacher this week :)

FranIAm said...

At least the words blow and job have not yet met in the child's consciousness.

This was entirely too funny.

Great movie by the way!

CDP said...

Suze:
That's exactly what I'm afraid of...if you have any day-to-day dealings with 6-year-olds, you know that they never really forget anything.
Fran: I know...and that would be the same conversation...but wait, blow is not a bad word, and...

Sauntering Soul said...

OMG that's hysterical!

Reminds me of when we took my niece to see the Nutcracker when she was about 6 or 7. The first time the main guy came out on stage she leaned over to my mom and said "Grandma, why are his privates poking out". My mom and I could not stop laughing. Only we were at the ballet so we were shaking and trying not to laugh out loud. Ah, the innocence of children....

CDP said...

That is a riot...at the ballet of all places!

Worker Mommy said...

Uh sadly...he probably has not. It will come up when you least expect it.
And me, I would have been there right with your sister and mother-trying hard not to laugh my ass off ;)

DCup said...

How I understand your anxiety. Anyone who's worked with kids will tell you that they blab nearly everything. Thankfully, most people who do work with kids are able to sort out the funny from the frightening. At least they've been able to in my experience.

CDP said...

Worker Mommy--I know! They really don't forget anything.
DCup--The teachers and staff at his school are so great, so I'm hopeful that if it does slip out, that they'll laugh it off!

Whiskeymarie said...

This is SO coming back to haunt you.

God I love that movie.

Spartacus said...

OMG. I laughed my ass off at this one. Hysterical. As I was reading it, I was thinking of other words you can add to the word job that taken by themselves would not constitute profanity. FranIam beat me to blow, but how about rim?

This post also reminded me of the time I had my daughter say the word truck with her mouth full of fingers. You have to have a warped sense of humor to want to spawn and raise kids. I know I do.

CDP said...

WM--me too...I could watch it again today and still laugh my head off even though I just saw it.

Spartacus--my older one used to say "fruck" for truck when he was about 15-16 months old. Not only that, but he REALLY loved trucks, so he said it really loudly and emphatically every time he saw one...and everything that wasn't a car was a FRUCK. You can only imagine the scene in the parking lot of the Giant on Saturday morning.

dguzman said...

You can always hope... but kids never forget! You have to admire the line of logical questioning he had for you, though.

CDP said...

Yes, and his persistence too...he wasn't letting it go easily!

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