Chris Matthews: Hillary? Who saw that shit coming? Not me, man. Coulda run me over with a cement mixer. We're a bunch of morons.
Tim Russert: Speak for yourself, Ted Baxter. I knew this was going to happen. I just didn't get a chance to say it yet. Like Monday? When Hillary cried? I said to myself right then, "Self, that show of emotion is going to really resonate with the ladies. She could win this." Then? Like 2 in the morning on Tuesday? I was TOTALLY thinking that all the secret Klan sympathizers were AFRAID NOT TO VOTE FOR OBAMA in Iowa, because Oprah would find out! But in New Hampshire? Secret ballot, man! I wrote it all down on a kleenex on the nightstand in my hotel room, but housekeeping threw it away. I knew this was going to happen! Florida Florida Florida! Didn't I say that in 2000? There's videotape! And I'm pretty sure I said something about Ohio in 2004. I'm omniscient! I'm clairvoyant! I'm the sayer of sooth of American presidential politics! Bow before me, underlings!
Brian Williams: Shut the fuck up, Karnak. Seriously, though, if this shit keeps up, we're going to need to start letting the voters decide elections again. Like in the old days, you know? And just report on it after?
CM: You kill me, Williams!
TR: Seriously, I'm ROFLMAO
CM: No one says that anymore, jackass.