Friday, February 29, 2008

Can We Talk?

A post in which I document, nearly verbatim, a series of conversations with my 6 year old son which took place last night between 7:30 and 9:30 pm.

(While I’m paying a bill online):
Mommy, we learned how to log off today. You want me to show you how to log off?
No thank you, sweetie
OK, here’s what you do. You click on that x up there. Then you say “YES” when the computer asks you if you want to save. ‘Cause if you don’t say “YES”, you’ll get messed up. Then you click on “start” and “log off”. You want me to tell you more things? Because I love talking about computers!

(After he’s finished brushing his teeth with the spiffy new toothbrush he received from the dentist who visited his class):
Mommy, you should try this toothbrush! Because it’s some good brushing!
No thank you, sweetie

(While he’s putting on his pajamas following his bath):
Hey dude, don’t put on your pajamas until you put on your underpants.
Well, I’m not going to put on my underpants, because I thought I could go commando.

(While I’m tucking him into bed):
Hey Mommy, you know what Marlon told me? His dad has a hairy butt and Marlon said he should shave his butt and his dad said that people don’t shave their butts. Do people shave their butts?
Goodnight, sweetie

In our next installment: A 3 year old boy learns that discussing farts and boogers is EVEN FUNNIER when you’re talking like a pirate! Aaargh!


Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

Boogers and farts are funny in any language and with any accent.

The Guv'ner said...

HAHAHAHA! He thought he'd go commando, bless him! That is some funny shee-yat. Kids say the most hilarious things.

You should've answered the butt shaving thing though. Just for my entertainment! :)

CDP said...

Dr M--my sons agree heartily.

Guv'ner--I know! This actually isn't the first time that he's tried to go commando, either, it's just that it was funny along with the hairy butt and the kind offer to share his toothbrush.

Tell you what...I'll have him call you and you can answer the butt shaving question.

On second thought...never mind.

Sauntering Soul said...

Oh man, I want to hang out with your kid for an evening.

I think it's hysterical that he and his friend were discussing his friend's dad's hairy butt. I don't recall ever doing that with any of my friends growing up.

Anonymous said...

Everything is "even funner" when talking like a pirate!

Anonymous said...

I love these posts! But I'm shocked that you left that commando critter hanging on the butt shaving thing.

Have you hidden all the razors? Otherwise it might be next up: a six year old boy learns that butt hair itches when it grows back in!

Distributorcap said...

your kid is gonna be one heckuva charmer!

or the next George Carlin

CDP said...

SS--I know, I really just cracked up picturing two earnest little first-grade boys discussing hairy butts over peanut butter sandwiches in the cafeteria


Dcup--You know, my husband has an electric razor and I'm constantly reminding him not to leave it out and accessible. I'm quite sure I'm going to come home one day to children with no eyebrows.

Dcap--I know...what with the commando suavity, the generous willingness to share his toothbrush and the sparkling hairy-butt conversation, how can he miss with the ladies?

Anonymous said...

Oh ain't seen nothing yet CDP. Wait until he's 13 and his voice changes and every other answer to your questions is "huh?" and "I dunno." It will have you recalling the days of Marlon's "hairy-assed" dad with glee.

CDP said...

Spartacus--I know, I don't look forward to the adolescent grunt stage. But it might be fun, when they're 12 or so, to say "hey Marlon! Does your dad still have a hairy butt?"

dguzman said...

Yikes. These kids....

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