Wednesday, April 2, 2008

I'm Nostalgic for Muzak

Whose idea was it for Sting to release a recording of "Embraceable You?" More to the point, the psychic damage I suffered as a result of hearing Der Stingle crooning "come to Daddy, do" isn't going to heal itself. Who's going to pay for the therapy?

I was shoe-shopping last night; I need shoes to wear to a wedding on Saturday. I already have the dress, and I might actually write a post about that shopping trip, too (preview...Mr. Macy, you don't really want to hear my answers to the online survey you're encouraging me to complete regarding my experience in your store). Anyway, the shoe store had music playing, and this "updated standard" was the lowest among many low points. I have a particular aversion to the "standards" trend, which has gone on for 15 years too long. I hold Harry Connick, Jr. nearly solely responsible for this. Meanwhile, I miss Muzak. It was awful, but innocuous and forgettable, unlike the aural assault I endured last night at the hands of this Gershwin assassin. ("EY" is not my favorite Gershwin song to begin with. And if you're not Ella Fitzgerald, and you're not, because she's dead, then you should never ever sing it. This is me talking to you, Sting. Hear me now, and stop singing later.)

11 comments:

FranIAm said...

When I looked at my reader and saw (parenthetical) I was confused.

But away I clicked.

I think I like it!

In fact - I do like it!!!

And as for the muzak - oh yeah. I don't know about Nordstrom, but when I worked at Crate&Barrel ('95-97) we had these stupid tapes from corporate. After maybe one play- I was ready to start sacrificing small children at the kitchenwares counter.

You mean you did not get good service at Macy's??? Hahahahahaha.

Now THAT is funny.

CDP said...

Hi Fran-Thanks! It's growing on me.
When I worked for Nordstrom, we usually had a live pianist; when the pianist wasn't working, there was taped piano music. I actually preferred it to listening to some corporate creative type's musical selections.

When I was at Macy's on Saturday, I swear there were five employees working the entire store. It was dreadful.

dguzman said...

Yikes, kinda like that Rod-Stewart-butchers-pop-standards album that came out a few years ago. I do NOT want to hear him croak "My Funny Valentine," thanks! This Sting thing sounds just as awful.

Nice new look. I always think about changing, but then I get timid about change.

DCup said...

I like the change! The new name is great!

Muzak? Yeah, sometimes I really want to hear music that, as my niece used to say, doesn't have any singing with it. Especially when I don't need to be distracted.

CDP said...

Dguzman--Ugh, Rod Stewart, even worse. Tony Kornheiser was talking on the radio about "This Ol' Heart of Mine" and how it wasn't possible to make a bad cover of that song. I beg to differ.

Dcup--Thanks!

Spartacus said...

CDP - I really like the new blog name, but it moves you down the list on my blogroll. LOL. So parenthetical, huh? What about adding a tagline that says "Where Semi-colons Rule."

Now to your post. I'm sorry, I'd rather listen to Pat Boone cover AC/DC (he really did), than tuning into muzak. Yeah, I know Sting has come a long way since he wore Chucks and sleeve-less Ts on stage at CBGBs, but now that he's branded himself as an old-fart rocker, "Embraceable You" fits. I'm with you on the mental anguish. I'd want to smash that CD if someone put it my hands.

CDP said...

Spartacus--yes, I guess that does move me down a bit alphabetically. I'm thinking of a tagline that says something like "Who says run-on sentences are a bad thing?" Or along those lines.

Jess Wundrun said...

The Onion has explored this Sting territory. Whenever a Sting song comes on the radio my husband and I say "I think I used to be cool once"

here's the link

CDP said...

JW--that was excellent. At least he has a sense of humor! (

Matty Boy said...

I like the Louis Prima-Keely Smith version of Embraceable You/I Got It Bad and That Ain't Good, but this may just be an early sign of dementia.

Here are the people who started recording after 1972 who I will allow to sing standards.

Tom Waits. Rickie Lee Jones. Elvis Costello. k. d. lang. Emmylou Harris. Andrea Marcovicci.

Everybody else... walk away from the mike, please. You're scaring the pets and small children.

(parenthetical) is a great name. Trademark it as soon as possible.

CDP said...

Matty--I'd no idea that Louis and Keely did EY...I'm sure it's good ("That Old Black Magic" is one of my favorite songs). And I agree on your list, too. It's not that I hate standards, it's just that I hate when every pop star thnks they need to cover them (and why Rickie Lee Jones isn't a huge star is a mystery to me)

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