Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Wedding Recap

Thank you for the many suggestions for my reading on Saturday. I did some unauthorized editing (replacing a bunch of the “my lovers” with “he” and adding “to me” after “arise my lover and come”.), and maintained my composure throughout (due in part to my sister’s failure to arrive at the church on time to hear me). The rest of the day went swimmingly, and I will regale you with a few highlights.

The bride (who later admitted that she was disappointed that I didn’t so much as snicker) looked beautiful, in a simple white satin dress with beading on the bodice, spaghetti straps and a plain tulle veil. The bridesmaids wore periwinkle, the groomsmen rented black tuxedos. The reception was at a very typical blue collar Philadelphia venue; buffet service, open bar, and drop ceiling hung with white tissue paper garlands and bridal bells. The food was very good, the dj got everyone on to the dance floor, and the all-under-30 groomsmen put on their beer box top hats. Oh yes, they did.

Some funny things people said:

The man my sister’s been dating, who arrived a bit late, just as the dancing was getting underway: “That lady in the pink suit? She’s like 70 and she’s spanking her own ass out there. This is gonna be awesome”

My brother, watching my Korean husband on the dance floor:
“There is the whitest man on the dance floor. He might be the whitest man in Pennsylvania.”

My husband, reacting to my brother’s comment, which my sister has reported to him:
“Hell, I haven’t even done the Robot yet. And wait til they play “YMCA.””

Me, to my sister and brother, after my mother’s (yes, her) threat to put video of them dancing to Usher’s “Yeah” on YouTube:
“I wouldn’t worry about it. She’ll put the footage on a VHS tape and spend all day tomorrow looking for a padded envelope and YouTube’s mailing address.” We can’t decide which is funnier, my joke or that she thinks that we’d believe her capable of uploading video to YouTube (or of uploading anything anywhere).

The bride and groom are on a cruise ship right now, and I hope they’re having fun. They’re funny and intelligent, kind and generous to everyone, and in love. I have high hopes for them.

28 comments:

christina said...

i love that whole youtube exchange

CDP said...

me too, I cracked myself up with that.

dguzman said...

Those were some priceless comments, especially the 70-yr-old spanking her own ass. Yikes.

And check out your mom, threatening to upload yer shite on the interwebs! Tell her to make sure to put extra stamps on that padded envelope; those tapes are heavy.

BeckEye said...

Glad to hear you had a good time and got through your reading unfazed.

Open bar. Two of the sweetest words in the English language. (Next to "Michael Johns," of course! I'm really committed to this obsession.)

CDP said...

Dguzman--description doesn't really do it justice; you'd need to see it. Yes, I'll tell my mom to make sure she uses adequate postage. Mwah!

BeckEye--I'm going to do a post on Vatican II, or perhaps on cold fusion, just to see if you can work him into your comment.

Suze's Sass said...

Oh I hope my wedding is as much fun as yours was.

DCup said...

“That lady in the pink suit? She’s like 70 and she’s spanking her own ass out there. This is gonna be awesome”

Okay, who else immediately thought "That's Whiskeymarie when she's seventy!"

Sounds like a blast. Classier than the family weddings we have on my side of the family (the firetrucks have to be backed out of the fire house so we can have a dance floor), but not so classy that people were miserable.

BeckEye said...

What...you doubt me??

I've spent the last 30 years perfecting the art of working John Travolta into any conversation. I can certainly do Michael Johns.

Oh. I said "do" Michael Johns. Hee hee. Oh, I need to lie down.

susan said...

Sounds like a great time and you got through the hard part just fine.. as in not laughing during the 'come' part. BTW give me a few years and I'll be the old lady slapping her ass.

CDP said...

Suze--me too, cause mine was awesome.

Dcup--I know! Or at least her retired great-aunt from Florida. (and oddly enough, the reception hall was located NEXT DOOR to a fire station!)

BeckEye--perhaps I DID doubt you, but never again.

Susan--tee hee!

The Guv'ner said...

HAHAHAHA!!!! Your poor husband:) That is AWESOME.

pistols at dawn said...

I've got to admit that between this, and the Outer Banks Asian guy humor, I am a big fan of your husband. I'd say "That guy knows how to work the room," but I haven't seen the results of his robot on the crowd yet.

FranIAm said...

That is so great and I can just picture the venue, blue collar Philly being familiar to me from some friends that used to live there.

Oh I feel a craving for Scrapple at the very... no, actually I do not, but I wanted to say that.

And BTW, glad the reading went well! Were you like a gazelle on the dance floor???

CDP said...

Guv'ner--it was pretty funny (and they did eventually play "YMCA"

PAD--see above, the crowd got the full benefit of one of his better performances during "YMCA". He does love any chance to get out of Silver Spring, Maryland...the "only Asian in the room" routine is difficult to pull off within 10 miles of our house.

Fran--I was (as always). I knew you had to be kidding about the Scrapple. I can't even watch anyone eat that.

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

I love it when white folks party down. Thanks for the update, I was wondering how it went.

Worker Mommy said...

I just want to see a video of your husband doing the Robot.

In fact I think I NEED to see it ;)

CDP said...

Dr. M--thanks, and we did party down!

WM--I've already mailed the VHS tape to YouTube. We'll see if they post it!

Alice said...

THANK YOU for your advice! cookies are a brilliant idea to add on top of normal dinner foods... and i'm totally using your Betty Crocker suggestion to make sure i have time to bake 'em before leaving :-)

Wyldth1ng said...

Snazzy.

Whiskeymarie said...

What dcup said.

I LOVE these kinds of weddings. Not too high-brow, not too low-brow. 70 year-old women spanking ass...
Perfect.

CDP said...

Alice--you're welcome! They're good enough that you can totally pretend that you made them from scratch (WhiskeyMarie didn't see that).

Wyld--It was snazzy. And silly.

WM--It really was perfect. Someone else needs to get married so I can go to another one.

The Lady Who Doesn't Lunch: said...

The whole she-bang sounds like fun!

Tell your mom to hurry and mail off that video tape - I need to see this stuff.

Seeing the beer case top hats was eye opening.

CDP said...

Lady--I know! I'm glad that they didn't attempt to wear them at the church (of course, my cousin would not have allowed it). It was a lot of fun.

WendyB said...

More people should wear periwinkle, goddammit.

CDP said...

WendyB--of course they should!

Dr. Zaius said...

Yay! Want to do the robot too!

Spartacus said...

Ha ha... this was some funny shit...um, I mean stuff...CDP. pink dresses, white men dancing, sending a VHS to Youtube.... This is the real reason why we have wedding receptions. You just can't make this stuff up.

Distributorcap said...

maybe we can make a weekly tv show of this wedding

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