Thank you for the many suggestions for my reading on Saturday. I did some unauthorized editing (replacing a bunch of the “my lovers” with “he” and adding “to me” after “arise my lover and come”.), and maintained my composure throughout (due in part to my sister’s failure to arrive at the church on time to hear me). The rest of the day went swimmingly, and I will regale you with a few highlights.
The bride (who later admitted that she was disappointed that I didn’t so much as snicker) looked beautiful, in a simple white satin dress with beading on the bodice, spaghetti straps and a plain tulle veil. The bridesmaids wore periwinkle, the groomsmen rented black tuxedos. The reception was at a very typical blue collar Philadelphia venue; buffet service, open bar, and drop ceiling hung with white tissue paper garlands and bridal bells. The food was very good, the dj got everyone on to the dance floor, and the all-under-30 groomsmen put on their beer box top hats. Oh yes, they did.
Some funny things people said:
The man my sister’s been dating, who arrived a bit late, just as the dancing was getting underway: “That lady in the pink suit? She’s like 70 and she’s spanking her own ass out there. This is gonna be awesome”
My brother, watching my Korean husband on the dance floor:
“There is the whitest man on the dance floor. He might be the whitest man in Pennsylvania.”
My husband, reacting to my brother’s comment, which my sister has reported to him:
“Hell, I haven’t even done the Robot yet. And wait til they play “YMCA.””
Me, to my sister and brother, after my mother’s (yes, her) threat to put video of them dancing to Usher’s “Yeah” on YouTube:
“I wouldn’t worry about it. She’ll put the footage on a VHS tape and spend all day tomorrow looking for a padded envelope and YouTube’s mailing address.” We can’t decide which is funnier, my joke or that she thinks that we’d believe her capable of uploading video to YouTube (or of uploading anything anywhere).
The bride and groom are on a cruise ship right now, and I hope they’re having fun. They’re funny and intelligent, kind and generous to everyone, and in love. I have high hopes for them.