Thursday, May 15, 2008

Please leave a message at the sound of the grenade launch

Thank you for participating in my poll, inspired by my (futile) attempt last week to find a pair of black flat Mary Janes, or ballet shoes. Regarding availability of MJs and ballet flats, an overwhelming majority of you feel that:

Every shoe store should stock at least 5 styles of each. Failure to do so is an outrage. Actually, it's a crime against humanity of so great a magnitude that its implications will only be fully comprehended by future generations.


This poll is closed now; I am thinking of another one, in which I will solicit your opinion on suitable penalties for the perpetrators of automated telemarketing calls. Among the less-severe options will be imprisonment for life.

17 comments:

(ʘ)(ʘ) said...

I look forward to some highly imaginative punishments.

CDP said...

Mwah ha ha!

pistols at dawn said...

Something involving fingernails. Those things can hurt.

CDP said...

Excellent!

dguzman said...

And something that involves ear or tooth pain. There's just nothing worse than ear or tooth pain.

Sauntering Soul said...

If the radio survey guy who called me a couple of weeks ago had been doing his survey door-to-door instead of over the phone? It would have come to physical blows on my part. He was the rudest SOB I've ever talked to. I only answered his call because his number had been popping up on my caller ID for days and on that particular night he had called me approximately 8 times in a two hour period and I couldn't figure out who in the heck at a strange number needed to get in touch with me so freakin' bad and yet couldn't be bothered to leave a message.

One of the most painful experiences of my life involved a basketball being kicked at my face (don't ask - but I was not the intended target) and it hit me in the nose. I vote for punishment involving kicking basketballs at their noses.

CDP said...

dguzman--I know, I had my first-ever ear infection at age 30 after swimming every day for 6 weeks. I knew then why babies scream when they have ear infections.

SS--you are punchy this week! I'm staying out of Atlanta, and if I do have to venture there, I'm totally not going to eff with you.

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

You are a cruel but fair mistress.

enc said...

Death by unending telemarketing call is the only fair penalty.

CDP said...

Dr. M--exactly!

enc--that's excellent. I was also thinking of perhaps lifetime confinement to a house with no answering machine or caller id and a requirement to answer the phone every time it rings (enforced by video surveillance). Mwah hah hah!

(ʘ)(ʘ) said...

Tagged you.

Hee hee. This is right up your alley.

Suze's Sass said...

I would love to give you my many, many ways to torture/punish telemarketers.

Michaéle said...

I work at home and answer all calls, even if I don't recognize the name on the caller ID. Who knows? Maybe my child was hurt at school and this is the hospital calling? Thankfully that is never the case. I do find telemarketing calls useful in that I practice my "bitchy side" when they call. You never know when you may be called upon to be a bitchy character so....hey, a girl's gotta hone her skills.

CDP said...

()--I know, I know. Fran got me too.

Suze--I seem to have become a gathering place for evil-doers. Mwah hah hah!

Michaele--I ALSO use telemarketing calls as an opportunity to practice "assertiveness skills". Ahem. But this is not about telemarketing in general, but the insidious automated calls...when you answer and get a recorded voice on the other end.

BeckEye said...

MJ??? What? Where?

CDP said...

He totally called for you!

susan said...

Yes, it's one thing to let their machine talk to your machine while you have a cup of tea and a chat with a friend but a suitable punishment for those who program the original calls will have to be carefully considered.

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