Sunday, June 1, 2008

I'm Ready. Depression


It comes and goes.




I have periodic bouts of depression, blues, whatever you want to call it. They're sudden and as often as not precipitated by no real event or issue. Yesterday morning, all was right with the world. Last night, I couldn't stop crying. Today, I'm just a little numb. This will pass, it always does.




I've tried medication, and it works, but I think it alters my personality, and coming off anti-depressants is just awful for me. I'm glad they're available, and I don't rule out trying them again, but I don't want to face the side effects and the withdrawal again, so I'll just fight it out. Meanwhile, blogging may be light or nonexistent for the next few days.




40 comments:

FranIAm said...

Oh dear CDP, the black dog has stopped by your house.

Please know that you are thought of with much love and many prayers.

It will pass my friend, as you know. We who love you from afar and most certainly those who are near to you will hold the curtain open for you to see and know that the sun is in the sky.

(((CDP)))

DCup said...

I hate it that you're feeling this way, but I know how sudden onset blahs and worse can be. Call if you feel like talking.

We'll be here, anxiously watching our RSS feeds, until you feel more like posting.

Big hugs, my friend. Let me be there for you like you were for me.

Suze's Sass said...

Hugs going out to you!! Hang in there and we'll be here when you get back.

CDP said...

Fran--I think that "black dog" is one of the most apt turns of phrases ever. That's exactly what it is. Thank you

Dcup--thanks, I'll be taking you up on that.

Suze--thanks!

Matt said...

CDP, I go through the same thing. I don't cry, I just can't get off the couch no matter how much work needs to be done. It sounds like you are lucky like me in that it ususally passes. Let you mind run its course and everything will be fine.

Prayers are with you.

Matt
www.idealcrap.com

BeckEye said...

Sorry to hear that you're feeling down. Somehow you still managed to make me laugh with that Spongebob reference though, so the real you is still mostly in control. :)

Matty Boy said...

I'm a heathen, so my prayers might not be so useful.

But I send all my best wishes and bloggy comrade love to you.

I'll even make a lolz if you think it will help.

enc said...

Hold on, sister, we're here with you.

I'll be waiting for your return.

xx

Sauntering Soul said...

So sorry you're feeling down CDP.

Huge hugs to you.

dguzman said...

Ditto on the well wishes and the hugs. Why don't you have a few Necco wafers? They taste like medicine anyway...

(gotcha!)

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

Take care friend.

CDP said...

matt-thanks, that is encouraging

BeckEye--thanks! (I'm going to email you, MJ was on the radio again this morning)

MattyBoy--I can think of very few situations that would not be helped by a lolz.

enc and SS--thanks!

Dguzman--thank you (why you...)

Dr. M--thank you

The Lady Who Doesn't Lunch: said...

Sorry you're going through this - do whatcha gotta do and take good care of yourself. I'm sending you my best good vibes.

pistols at dawn said...

Whenever I hear about a woman crying, I just assume it's my fault, probably because it usually is.

I think guilt is the best counterweight to depression ever, so I just think about people in wartorn Kabul, and how it's not really that sad that I can't afford HBO to watch "Feds" (starring Mary Gross and Rebecca De Mornay back when that meant something) and then all of a sudden, I'm cured faster than you can say, "William, It Was Really Nothing."

However, if I've learned anything, it's that nothing that works for me works for anyone else, so here's hoping you find your own reference point.

Worker Mommy said...

I hope this bout is short lived. But as you mentioned to me, we'll wait patiently until you return!

Hang in there, I'll be sending you good vibes!

CDP said...

Lady--thanks!

Pistols--Damn it, I've spent way too many nights crying over you. I'm going to go brood about Darfur now. (:))

WM--Thank you!

WendyB said...

Feel better. I definitely have many moments of feeling like the sad oval in the Zoloft commercials. I really relate to that oval.

susan said...

More than once it's occurred to me that depression is a perfectly reasonable response to the current state of the world.

Be well :-)

Matty Boy said...

Lolz therapy is available at Lotsa 'Splainin'. Ask your doctor to see if lolz therapy can work for you.

Spartacus said...

CDP - What all others have said and this -- when all else fails, give your kids a hug and a kiss. It helps me. :-)

CDP said...

WendyB--that is a very compelling image, isn't it? So is the black dog. Thanks!

Susan--you have a point! Thanks!

Matty--THANK YOU! Get a clinical trial started immediately!

Spartacus---thanks

Michaéle said...

We call it "Mom's Black Cloud" in our household....I feel it following me for days and days and then suddenly, the sky is blue again. Here's wishing you endless blue skies....

CDP said...

Michaele--thank you! It's SO helpful to know that other people go through this nonsense.

Dr. Zaius said...

When I get blue, I eat lots of chocolate cake. It doesn't help at all - but at least it's chocolate!

CDP said...

Dr Z--I'm going to try that. And send me some happy underpants, ASAP. kthx.

Shelley said...

Body aches are most of the time not taken seriously by people. The fact of the matter is that they can actually prove to be quite serious at times. Body aches can also be symptoms of other massive illnesses like depression. Though depression does have effective medications in the form of xanax it is obvious that no body would like to fall prey to it.

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