“When is the awards banquet?”
“It’s on July 30. It’s on the calendar, it’s written down”
“OK. When are we going to your sister’s?”
“This weekend. Saturday afternoon, after the swim meet. It’s on the calendar”.
“OK. And when are we on vacation?”
“August 9. It’s on the calendar. Why don’t you look at the calendar? Don’t rely on my brain. My brain is barely capable of regulating basic bodily functions, and don’t get me started on short-term memory. I can’t think for you, too.”
“Oh come on. Your brain is twice as big as my brain. You have a white collar brain; I have a blue collar brain. My brain is on the dollar menu; yours is one of those supersized deluxe burgers.”
“Listen, if my brain is so impressive, wouldn’t it be out of the fast food realm altogether? Seriously, I’m not all that thrilled to have my brain compared to an extra-value meal”
“Son? Who’s smarter, me or Mom?”
“See? The boy didn’t even hesitate. He didn’t go “hmm”, he didn’t say “well, on the one hand….but on the other hand”. He didn’t worry about hurting my feelings. It was just a simple A or B question, and he knew the answer. You’re the brains in this family, so you just tell me where I need to be and I’ll be there.”
We have a variation on this conversation every few months. I have functioned as a human PalmPilot (see? I’m not that smart! The PalmPilot has been obsolete for years! I don’t even know the 2008 equivalent! Human BlackBerry? Human iPhone? All I know is that I will be pretty damn happy when the quirky capitalization/noSpaceBetweenWords trend comes to the screeching halt that it should have arrived at in 2002) for our family for eight years, and every so often, I threaten to hand over my portfolio. And every time I do, my husband talks me down by flattering my supposed intellect. And I pretty much fall for it. So 7yo, again, who is smarter, me or Ahpa?