Here's a sample of how my mind works after a sleepless night:
1. What if “A Bug’s Life” and “Antz” and “Bee Movie” and all of those other movies and stories that anthropomorphize insects and other vermin are on to something? Hmm? What if that ant I just wrapped up in toilet paper and flushed this morning is right now the subject of a nationwide missing ant search (assuming that in ant time, 6 hours is equivalent to 10 days or so, and the colony has mobilized in response to his failure to return to the anthill as expected). Suppose some ant mother or wife is sleepless, mad with grief and worry and thinking that she could bear the worst, if only she knew. She needs closure. Eventually, the ant will be assumed dead, and everyone will tell his wife to move on, but she’ll always wonder. Or maybe another ant saw me commit my crime. He reports back amid grief and consternation. And then, the ants decide to get revenge…
2. But who cares? Even a million ants couldn’t really do anything other than ruin my cookout.
3. But what if they have termite friends?
4. Or cockroaches? Oh Holy Mother of God, what have I done?
5. Ridiculous. Just an ant.
6. What the hell is that? Is that a spider? Oh my God, where is my shoe?
7. Oh calm down, idiot. It’s just a spider. Just kill it and flush it.
8. See # 1.
9. Damn it.