Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Days 1 and 2

My husband went to Korea as part of a cultural exhange program run by the Korean Embassy in Washington. He was gone for two weeks and brought me excellent gifts; my favorites are a necklace with a tiny silver pig and some ginseng soap that smells awesome. As promised/threatened, here's the first installment in my diary of a temporarily single parent. It's really more of a log. I was way too busy to write. I'm still too busy to write, which explains why I'm sitting here writing. Here are days 1 and 2; more will follow.


Day 1 (Things Fall Apart)


He's leaving at 7 am. The night before he left, I insisted on a complete systems check; my house and everything in it are notorious for grinding to a screeching halt every time he walks out the front door. I'm determined that I'm not going to be stranded with a plumbing crisis or electrical breakdown while he's sightseeing 7,000 miles away. After a complete inspection, we agree that the all-clear can be sounded. I decide to take the day off from work and do some shopping and errands while the kids are in school. As I’m adjusting my visor, the vanity mirror falls off the visor and lands in my lap, followed immediately by the visor itself.

Bo-kay!

By my estimate, he can’t even be on the effing plane yet, and my car is already falling apart. Excellent! I fully expect that the rest of the car will burst into flames, the house will spontaneously self-destruct, and in ten days, my children and I will be living in a VAN down by the RIVER.



(postscript: one of our toilets also broke, but as it isn't the only one in the house, it was only a minor inconvenience. The house and its major systems managed to remain upright, intact, and functioning)

Day 2 (From Korea, He Will Return)


7 yo asks how long before Ahpa comes home. I get a calendar and show him how many days remain.
“WHAT?” he says. “Why is it going to take so long?”
I explain the distance, the time difference and the fact that it takes two days to get there and back, as he gazes at me with the expression of a child who's waiting for his mother to make a point, while knowing how unlikely this is to occur.
“I hate Korea” he mutters.


Later, we have one of his friends over to play. After a very well-received lunch consisting of pizza bagels, cut up fruit, and cookies, they ride scooters, chalk on the driveway, swing, and then ask to watch Star Wars again. 3yo asks 7yo to make him a walking stick out of Tinkertoys , and insists for the rest of the day that everyone address him as “Master Yoda”. To bed, we eventually go.

LATER:
My entire frickin' life flashes before my eyes! Stay tuned!

22 comments:

enc said...

It sounds like you handled days 1 and 2 with your customary aplomb.

:D

FranIAm said...

I love what you say and how you say it.

I hate Korea.

Wow.

pistols at dawn said...

I hate Korea, too, but for reasons that make far less sense.

3carnations said...

"I hate Korea". If he's got political aspirations he might want to rephrase that a bit. Ha.

CDP said...

enc--I like that you think of me as "handling things with aplomb", especially "customary aplomb". I'll try to live up to that!

Fran--I wish I could have conveyed the contempt and disgust with which he said that, too.

Pistols--the Hyundai? Kimchee? (actually, I'm not crazy about the latter, either).

3Carn--we'll edit his remarks for future political considerations; when he runs for Presidant, we'll make sure that everyone knows that he was referring to the totalitarian regime in North Korea.

3carnations said...

There would be something mildly amusing (as well as mortifying) if one of the current candidates announced that they hate a particular country.

Suze said...

My things also fall apart the minute my husband leaves. I dropped him off at the airport one time and my car broke down at a stop light on the way home. I think it has something to do with husbands. I blamed him for it anyway.

CDP said...

3carn--a country? Think of what happened when Bush 41 was heard complaining that he hated broccoli--it was news for weeks!

Suze--my policy was that anything bad that occurred during the entire trip was his fault.

Sauntering Soul said...

A week and a half after Hot Brazilian left both of our cars were broken into and I was out $1,000 for repairs and stolen stuff. But he's not my husband. And he doesn't live with me. Can I still blame it on him leaving? I think I'm going to.

DCup said...

I love the 7yo's indictment of a whole nation. Poor dude misses his Ahpa.

You crack me up with the systems check. I wish I could be that organized. Instead, our house falls down around me and I happily apply all blame to MathMan for NOT anticipating the problems.

Yep - this marriage thing - it's got its upside. ;-)

dguzman said...

What Fran said, plus "Master Yoda." ha ha ha!!!

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