Monday, December 22, 2008

8 across, 12 letters, starts with a "U", synonym for AWESOME

UNEMPLOYMENT



Today's my first day as a member of the leisure class. I had a little emotional meltdown last Thursday night, then a panic attack on Friday afternoon. Then last night, instead of my usual Sunday night anxiety, just total euphoria, which has carried right over into this morning. I'm free! Temporarily, but free!

(It's later now)
I went to finish my Christmas shopping. I have two more presents to buy, but for people I won't see until December 30, so I'm effectively done. And now, only a few days into my life as a lady who could lunch if she wanted to, I have no good ideas or inspiration. I think I function better when I'm in a constant state of agitation. Nothing to worry about worries me. What to write about?

My hair! I can write about my hair! I know, it's so exciting! I got my hair cut two weeks ago, and it didn't work out so well. It wasn't drastic, it was just a very bad, terrible, no good haircut. Layer upon layer upon layer, creating flippy little wingy things all over my head. No good. So I'm walking through the mall, and I see a hair salon, with empty chairs all over the joint. I ignore the little voice that tells me that nothing good can come of walking into a mall salon and saying "Hi! Can you cut my hair, like right now?" So I got my hair cut, like right then. It's OK, I think. The only option, short of short all over, which is not an option, was a reverse bob, with some of the more offensive layers blended a bit. I stayed her hand on that part; I think she was disappointed that impromptu haircut woman wasn't willing to allow carte blanche with the scissors, but I did let her take almost 2 inches in length. My hair is just above my shoulders now, for the first time in a long time. I think I like it; I'll find out for sure when I wash it myself. So see, that wasn't even that interesting. A really GOOD impromptu haircut story would involve truly epic hair badness, but I had nowhere to go but up.

OK, here's another thing. I'm still a 4.0 student; my final exam grade was 95, leaving me with a class average of 96. I have to take one more science class, damn it, and I'm putting it off for as long as possible. I've become attached to my 4.0, and I don't see it surviving Biology or Physics.

At this point, I think I could maybe claim to have kidnapped the Lindbergh baby, since there's NO WAY anyone is still reading this bilge. I can't even think of any other unsolved crimes to confess to, so I'll put this sorry excuse for a post out of its misery. My four year old wants me to help him snap his fingers, so I'll report back later.

15 comments:

MichaƩle said...

I would love to be unemployed but only if I could afford it.

Enjoy the break! I was thinking the other day that besides my recent vacation, I have been working nonstop for 20 years, and that includes three pregnancies. I ran a housekeeping business back then. Cleaned houses on Friday, had babies on the weekends and was back to work within a few days. No wonder I was so dang skinny back then!

Don't worry...no one is reading my blog, either. I think they are tired of hearing me whine about the now 3 feet of snow we now own.

Happy Holidays (wasn't sure of your holiday greeting preference!) and may your New Year be full of opportunities and excitement!

enc said...

That finger-snapping close was epic.

I love your posts, substantial, haircutty, or not.

xx

christina said...

i totally made it to the snapping part and found the entire post quite charming.

FranIAm said...

Oh honey, it is a little freaky at first but then you let go and say "wheeeee" and you will be in the heart of it all.

Now that I work I miss my unemployment. Very. Very. Much.

Time is a gift- luxuriate in it the best you can. Once its gone, it is very gone.

DCup said...

I thought you looked familiar. I kidnapped Jimmy Hoffa. Did we meet at the kidnappers' convention?

And don't you ever call your writing bilge again. You are a 4.0 student!

dguzman said...

Honey, don't you understand that being a lady who lunches is all about having "no good ideas or inspiration"??? That, and telling the maid what she did wrong!

Sheesh. Carry on with the finger-snappin' lessons.

Matty Boy said...

I found out that the breaks between semesters count as unemployment for my kind of state employee, who in polite circles are called adjunct faculty. I get three weeks off and if the cards break right, I should get paid for two of them.

I didn't even know this until this month.

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

Update me when you get a leg wax or a pedicure or something.

Stephanie said...

I wish I could summon sympathy right now. Unfortunately, I'm too distracted by the unbridled JEALOUSY.

themom said...

You go girl! And your writings are not bilge. Enjoy the respite while you can. Have a Merry Christmas and enjoy.

pistols at dawn said...

I knew it was you who kidnapped the Lindbergh baby. Luckily, they're too focused on their loveless marriage to worry about that kid.

BeckEye said...

Unemployment is awesome until the day you run out of money. And then it sucks.

What's a reverse bob? Is your face covered? That's kind of cool. I heard the "Cousin It" was all the rage this year.

Utah Savage said...

This is a great post! And since you didn't seem to think so, I'm betting the haircut was better than you're letting on.

And yes, the call for finger snapping lesson was an epic end.

CDP said...

Michaele--you are one tough woman! I've worked almost nonstop, but I did take 12 weeks off for each baby!

enc--thanks! We're still working on the snapping. As with any learned skill, he lacks the most important quality, which is patience.

Christina--thank you!

Fran--I will definitely remember that, thanks

Dcup--I KNEW that I saw a hand sticking out of the ground in one of your garden pictures! I knew it!

Dguzman--Not only that, but my pastry chef made some pretty sloppy looking tree cookies today.


Matty--excellent! I hope it shakes out as planned!

Dr. Monkey--a pedicure is a possibility; a leg wax is absolutely not. Shudder.

Stephanie--I won't brag too much.

Pistols--thanks for not dropping a dime to the Feds.

themom--thanks!

Beckeye--it's when the hair is a little shorter in the back. And my plan is to have the unemployment run out before the money does, but that's everyone's plan, isn't it?

Utah--thanks! We're still working on the finger-snapping
t

susan said...

I know all will work out fine for you and I bet the haircut looks good too. Best wishes to you and your family in this Season of Light.

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