Saturday, December 27, 2008

Deep Impressions

I love the Christmas holidays. Christmas Day is great, but I really love the week between Christmas and New Years Day. I worked in retail for a long time, so I still get a little happy thrill when I realize that I don't need to be at the store at 7 am on December 26 (I worked in retail during the pre-doorbuster days. I'm sure that there are department store employees all over the United States who'd be quite happy to work as late as 7 am on the day after Christmas, but it seemed pretty early to us at the time). My 7yo loves when I remind him, during a school vacation, exactly what he'd be doing at a particular time of day if school were in session. "Hey! It's 8:50! The bell's about to ring--except it's NOT, because there's NO SCHOOL TODAY and we're still in our pajamas! Ha ha ha ha ha ha!" I'm hoping that he'll remember stuff like that when he's also remembering how often I've yelled about Legos on the floor during the past few days. I only yell when I step on them. The little effers hurt when you come down squarely on top of one in bare feet.

My sister-in-law and mother-in-law were over yesterday, and my mother-in-law brought me some Korean soaps, from a widowed friend of hers who sometimes needs my husband's help with repairs or insurance issues. The soaps smell amazing; my favorite is a lavendar-scented one called "Lavendar Happy Bath". Happy bath indeed. I love the crazy English-language names and advertising slogans for Korean products. There's a Korean bakery nearby, and although their cake is vile, the box is awesome. It reads "Shilla Bakery: It make a deep impression on your mind". It actually has made a deep impression on my mind. Now that I think about it, it's been at least three years since I've had a Shilla cake, since I always volunteer to make a cake for my mother in law's gatherings JUST TO AVOID SHILLA BAKERY CAKE, but I remember the slogan. That is some effective advertising.

As they were getting ready to leave, my sister-in-law asked if I planned to do laundry this weekend. Odd question, I thought; first, because I can't imagine a weekend that doesn't involve laundry and secondly, because what? Am I doing what this weekend? Do you need to know about my vacuuming plans, too? She looked disappointed when I told her that I'd be doing laundry, so I asked her if she needed something, and it turned out that she wanted to borrow my iron. She thought that the fact that I'd be doing laundry precluded a loan of the iron. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ooh-wee, T-Shane! Ha ha ha ha ha!

What? You don't get it? See, she thought that I iron! Like EVERY TIME I do laundry! That is some funny shit, people! Seriously, I'm cracking up all over again just thinking about it. Ironing! Hee hee hee hee hee! She called me today to see if she could keep the iron for another day. I told her she could keep it until I get a job. Ironing. Bah ha ha ha ha! (wipes a tear). OK, I'm fully recovered now. (giggle).

My children, who are permitted to stay up way late during vacations, have just summoned me to watch our favorite ever SpongeBob episode ("The Inmates of Summer". It's hilarious, trust me), so I'll be back tomorrow or the next day.

(PS--it's a bit later now. We had a vomiting emergency. Some hazmat cleanup was required. The 4yo, who was the vomiter, is fine now, and asleep.)


Mathman6293 said...

In our family there is always a puker - this year it was the dancer. It was often me and Dcup in our respective families.

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

Man that sister in law of yours is a real comic genius. Iron when you do laundry, man what a comedy gem.

dguzman said...

YOU make a deep impression on my mind, CDP. Your comic stylings are pure gold, madam. Pure gold.

And what's the deal with the Xmas puking? My friend Niki told me her husband ALWAYS gets pukey on Xmas day! And Mathman says there's always a puker in his family too? My family never did that. Are we anti-Xmas?

My word verif is "mousha." Mousha, Mousha, Mousha!

Matty Boy said...

There is a companion website to the lolz cat repository I Can Has Cheezburger called It has great examples of English language signs from foreign lands. My friend Padre Mickey posts these things from time to time, partly because they are funny and partly because it reminds him of growing up in Okinawa.

No family tradition of puking here. Obviously, ymmv.

Stephanie said...

Legos: I feel ya' - I despise those damn things...

Iron: BWAHAHAHAHA!!! That's a good one! Laundry = Ironing. Pshaw!

Puke: It wouldn't be a vacation without at least one.

Sauntering Soul said...

Thank goodness we do not have a tradition of puking in my family. And hopefully this year's big drama fest over a can opener will not become our tradition. Seriously? A can opener caused a gigantic family issue? Why yes it did. I haven't decided if I'm going to blog about it or not because it's as stupid as it sounds.

I have an iron and your sister-in-law can have it forever. I haven't ironed anything in, well, years if I'm being honest.

enc said...

I loved this post, it was very good for a laugh. :D

DCup said...

I guess you know what you can get your SIL for her next birthday! With or without a Schilla cake.

CDP said...

Mathman--4yo has been the family puker for some time; I see him holding the title for years to come.

Dr. Monkey--that was gold, you know?

Dguzman--4yo tends to puke whenever he's overly excited, so holidays are definitely high risk!

Matty--That's awesome, I'm going to check that out. Sometimes I visit Lotte, our Korean grocery, just to read the handwritten signs.

Stephanie--the ironing thing was PRICELESS, wasn't it? I still crack up that she thought that ironing was an indispensable component of laundry-doing. Ha ha ha!

SS--that sounds like an excellent blog post!


dcup--excellent idea!

themom said...

My grandson is a LEGO freak...and I have imprints from each and every one on my feet. As for the "ironing" friend wanted to borrow mine once upon a time, and I laughed for so long, she had time to go buy one!!! Remember "permanent press!" Always.

MichaƩle said...

The good thing (yes, there are good things) about having teenagers is that they can usually sprint to the bathroom before said vomiting occurs. I do have a dog who tends to be barfy and it is nice to be able to throw his fanny outside to do that elsewhere. He gives me plenty of notice.

Now that my family's gastrointestinal interests have been disgustingly discussed, the iron. Yee Gads. Yes, I iron. Every. Freaking. Day. The damn dress shirts my husband has to wear. I can't bring myself to pay someone else to iron them for me. I do a horrible job on the dress pants so he does those himself and I've tried being awful at the shirts but he hates doing them as much as me so we are in this passive-agressive "who-can-do-the-shirts-the-worst-until-one-of-us-gives-in" battle over ironing them.

Dang, that was a lot to say. I need another Bailey's and Coffee now.

liss n kids said...

omg ironing! that's hysterical! almost as good as when my mom told me I could lighten up and "so what if the house didn't get dusted this week," and I thought about telling her how long it has been since I dusted, but yeah.

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