I wasn't going to post today, because I didn't have anything in particular to say. Then I remembered that this has never stopped me before. I'm still unemployed and I'm afraid I'll become rather dangerously accustomed to it. I've been looking, but not terribly hard. I think I'd like to do something different, but I haven't yet identified what that something is. Meanwhile, I'm home.
My husband and I have been having periodic "what if you just don't go back" conversations. He's encouraging me to stay home. I'm not sure. I've always worked, and I like to work. But I would like more freedom, and I'd like to be more available for my children. We've been able to do some things, like hang out at the playground with the neighborhood stay-home moms and their kids after school on nice days, and they love having me home. I cook more. I bake things.
Still, there's something missing. I'm taking a class right now, but I think I need something more. My mind has slowed a bit. I can't think so good, damn it. Maybe it's just a temporary result of the adjustment from busy busy busy ALL THE TIME to just busy. OR! I just thought of something! Maybe it's because I just don't know what my life is right now. I'm in sort of an entrenched state of transition. I don't have a job, but I'm also not really a stay-home mother, either. My last few months at my job were rather dreary and I SO looked forward to the end. So the end came, and it was great. But I knew how to have that life. I'm not sure yet how to have this one.