Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Fuzzy-headed blogging. Keep your expectations low.

I wasn't going to post today, because I didn't have anything in particular to say. Then I remembered that this has never stopped me before. I'm still unemployed and I'm afraid I'll become rather dangerously accustomed to it. I've been looking, but not terribly hard. I think I'd like to do something different, but I haven't yet identified what that something is. Meanwhile, I'm home.

My husband and I have been having periodic "what if you just don't go back" conversations. He's encouraging me to stay home. I'm not sure. I've always worked, and I like to work. But I would like more freedom, and I'd like to be more available for my children. We've been able to do some things, like hang out at the playground with the neighborhood stay-home moms and their kids after school on nice days, and they love having me home. I cook more. I bake things.

Still, there's something missing. I'm taking a class right now, but I think I need something more. My mind has slowed a bit. I can't think so good, damn it. Maybe it's just a temporary result of the adjustment from busy busy busy ALL THE TIME to just busy. OR! I just thought of something! Maybe it's because I just don't know what my life is right now. I'm in sort of an entrenched state of transition. I don't have a job, but I'm also not really a stay-home mother, either. My last few months at my job were rather dreary and I SO looked forward to the end. So the end came, and it was great. But I knew how to have that life. I'm not sure yet how to have this one.

19 comments:

Michaéle said...

I've always been kind of in that "mom purgatory." I stay at home but I work at home as a medical transcriptionist. I have to constantly remind other people that even though I'm home, I'm working every minute the kids are gone so just pretend I'm not here because I cannot babysit your kids or let the appliance repairman in for you or else MY boss will get mad and byebye job for me.

If you want info on working at home, my sister in law runs a national medical transcription company (I don't work for her...thought I'd keep that in my back pocket until I need it) so just a thought if you think that sounds interesting.

I love it. I work in my jammies sometimes. Other times, I hate it because it's hard to work when kids/husband/dogs are all around. Mostly it's good.

Rambling. Peace out...!

Embee said...

Coincidentally, I also work as a medical transcriptionist! I'm totally pissed off at the company I work for right now and looking for a job. I'm afraid to be unemployed because I basically support my family and unemployment just isn't enough to pay the bills. I know for a fact that I'd go absolutely nutso insane if I didn't have a job. I've been working full time all my adult life, and now I'm also going to school full time, so if I turned all that off my brain would probably seize and instantly atrophy into a raisin-like entity! Though I truly, truly would love some more "me" time.

Michaele - if you come back and read this, would you contact me? I'd like to talk to you about transcription and your sister-in-law's company.

bye!

CDP said...

Embee and Michaele--what is involved in medical transcription other than typing? I can do 50 or 60 accurate words a minute, is that enough? I'm going to email you guys.

Suze said...

Take your time deciding if and when you want to go back to work. Besides, I heard Maury is gonna have more of those "who is the daddy" shows.

Sauntering Soul said...

My aunt is a medical transcriptionist too! Funny story...she received a Christmas gift with a card that said "Love, [man's first name] and [man's girlfriend]." She was telling me about it and said she had no idea who this person was and why he sent her a gift. It just so happens that he has a very unusual name and I immediately knew who he was when she said the name. My boss is his attorney so I work on his business stuff quite often. And it just so happens that I knew his girlfriend's name too because at my former law firm we represented her husband when he divorced her because she was messing around with this guy. I was able to clear up the mystery for her because as soon as I said his last name she said "OH! That's the company I work for."

Obviously, this has very little to do with your post so I apologize for hijacking your comments with my stupid little story.

pistols at dawn said...

I don't know what I'd do sitting home all day. Okay, I actually do, because that's what I'm best at. And all I need to do to stay home forever is get married and knocked up? Let's do this.

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

It was a bit of an adjustment for me when I got put off of work after my heart attack so I kind of know how you feel about work right now. The right answer will show itself in time. Was that zen enough for you?

enc said...

I suppose that until you commit to either life—working, stay-at-home-mom—you'll feel rather "swistie"—not one, not the other.

(guess what I typed for word verification?)

susan said...

When you stop to think about the very concept of having all the billions of adults in the world working for wages seems bizarre. The place would probably be better off if we all got paid to do what we like doing.

'What do you do?'
'I build F22 fighter jets. How about you?'
'I make cookies and take the kids to the park'

Cid said...

I am the ying to your yang. I have been home for 10 year with my kids and now with everyone fulltime at school I am working with my husband - from home. Not really what I imagined myself doing after a decade of babies, toddlers and preschoolers. So, I too, am a "swistie" (I like having a word to describe myself) But as they say - it's about the journey, not the destination.

CDP said...

Suze--I'll mark my calendar!

SS--that was a good story, so hijack away!

Pistols--that's all there is to it.

Dr. M--very Zen indeed. And I can't comment at your place again...it's weird.

enc--that's an excellent word!

Susan--I like the way you think. And you know, every day I think of more things that I can do without, just in case I don't end up going back.

Cid--it's never exactly what you plan, is it?

Lisa said...

I love that phrase " entrenched state of transition."

The nice thing about what you've got going on right now is time. Time to think about it. Time to test it out. And if you've got the option to not work for a while, you've got - TIME!

It's vague and undefined, I know. But maybe the ability to wander a bit is a good thing for a change.

WM said...

Aah, tied to my desk and wishing I were home I'm a little jealous of your situation. Stupid I know...I'm sure if I was home I'd be clamoring for something to do...mostly I just miss the kiddos and want more time with them

*sigh*

good luck finding something you enjoy!

Distributorcap said...

look at this as a gift in a way -- you dont get to see your kids grow up when they are all grown up ---

times are not good, and maybe something part time to help you figure out what you want - might be a way to go

i know you will find the right thing --

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