Wednesday, February 11, 2009

One Monstrosity After Another

I had a post in mind, and I'm still going to do it but it involves some writing. I just don't have it in me today. I'm mired in critical theory and neck deep in Frankenstein. (See what I did there?) Frankenstein is an interesting thing. On the one hand, I'm deeply involved in it on the ripping good story level. Guy makes a guy, made guy runs amok, first guy suffers unspeakable tragedy and is tormented by anguish...very absorbing stuff. But still...Mary Shelley could have used an editor, and Percy was clearly not the editing type. I decided at around the seventh chapter to count the uses of the word "miserable" to describe everything from grief and anguish to poverty to atmospheric conditions, and I lost count at ten million. And I can suspend disbelief just as well as the next guy, but really...the monster goes from barely sentient to able to read and discuss "Paradise Lost" in like a year? I mean, he was in GERMANY, living next door to FRENCH PEOPLE...so wouldn't he have picked up some Goethe or Voltaire or something?

Now if that were the type of criticism called for, I'd be all set. My paper would be all "come on...you expect me to believe that this guy pieced together some dead body parts, and a year later, the resulting creature was able to find his way from Germany to Switzerland, and then he just HAPPENS TO FIND the guy's brother and figures out how to frame some poor girl for the murder?" But I'm afraid that I have to pick a school of critical thought and analyze the book using that approach. And that's all I have to say about that. I know there's a great deal of funny potential in the idea of a Marxist critique of Frankenstein, but at this moment, I'm too lazy to find and exploit it.

I'm watching MSNBC in the kitchen right now, while my children have their before-bed TV time in the family room next door. While I'm obviously no fan of the Republican leadership, I'm having a hard time summoning outrage over the email that was sent by Rep. Eric Cantor's staff, because the video is just too bleeping funny. "We fix the bleeping holes in the road so your car doesn't get bleeped up..." just about killed me. On the other hand, I have absolutely no problem summoning outrage over this bleeping bank mess. My absolutely favorite thing is when bank executives say that the money for the bonuses/company jets/Vegas vacations, etc., didn't come from taxpayer funds. Because to me, that means that they had the funds available to pay for the bonuses/jets/vacations, which means that they DIDN'T NEED the TARP money. Sometimes, it's just that simple.

Oh, and speaking of outrage? I'm looking at you, Whirlpool Corporation. That's another story that I just can't bring myself to write now, but do stay tuned. As a preview, just know that my official position re the Whirlpool Corporation may be filed under "On Like Donkey Kong".

18 comments:

The Vegetable Assassin said...

When I was a little kid the BBC used to show double bills on Saturday night of old Frankenstein movies from the '30s and '40s. I loved that stuff. I always felt so truly awful for the monster because he wasn't a bad guy for a monster - he was always saving kittens and befriending children and people would hunt him down and try to kill him. Poor monster. It's what started my whole sympathy with the under dog thing.

FranIAm said...

Maybe the bailout will yield you a bleeping dryer?

pistols at dawn said...

I should really marry an editor, because Lord knows I can't cut down what I write to save my life, and I can't afford to pay one with money, either.

Now that I think about it, the much better offer is to threaten to marry female editors unless they edit me for free, because women would actually choose that one.

3carnations said...

I can tell you're mad because you stopped calling them Hurlpool. ;-)

football said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Debbie said...

I'd love to have those bank execs locked in a room with me. I am so outraged that I know I could take them all single-handedly.

CDP said...

Veggie--I know! In the book, the monster is more malevolent, but he's driven to that. My sympathy is much more with the monster than with whining Victor.

Fran--ha ha ha ha!

Pistols--that sounds like a bleeping plan.

3Carn--Exactly! The gloves are off.

Debbie--yes, it's on like Donkey Kong with them, too.

Cid said...

Thanks for your suggestions for surviving single motherhood.
I'll stock up on Froot Loops!

Matty Boy said...

Frames a guy for a murder! So in English literature, all villains are actually written by Agatha Christie, even ones published before her birth.

"On like Donkey Kong"? What an odd turn of phrase. ;^]

Phil said...

Fortunately, sci-fi/fantasy fiction has come a long way since the early days; unfortunately, politics hasn't.

CDP said...

Matty--exactly! And "on like Donkey Kong" used to be a big catchphrase.

Phil--too true!

BeckEye said...

I love that you skipped doing a post that "required writing." Ha ha.

Weeping Sore said...

You always make me laugh, but your review of Frankenstein is a gas!
The only thing worse than those bank executives making like they're humble for 15 minutes, is the puffing and blowing of the Congressional Committee members who spout a few clever talking points and think they've done a day's work. I don't know who is more "miserable". Ooops, sorry.

Lisa said...

I understand that Percy was much better at foot rubs and choosing wine than editing.

I guess you have to play to your strengths even when literature is involved.

CDP said...

BeckEye--even laziness can be charming, right?

WS--ha ha! That was ten million and one.

Lisa--I hope she had someone to rub her feet, because she sure didn't have a thesaurus.

enc said...

I loved your comments about the bankers. I think they're all deluded and need to take a huge paycut as part of being allowed to keep their jobs.

dguzman said...

Oh man, I feel your pain; I'm just glad I'm not in school anymore. I just read "The Murders in the Rue Morgue" after skipping it all those years as an English major, and I can tell you that my paper on the story would've basically read, "WHAT THE FUCK. This guy Dupin is pulling all these clues out of his ass. A fucking orangutan!? WHAT shutters on the windows? This is bullshit with a side of getthefuckouttahere."

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