Monday, March 2, 2009

And in fact, I also hate sunshine, rainbows, and cute little puppies.

On March 2, it's usually early spring in Maryland. Forsythia start to bloom, news reports contain daily predictions of peak-bloom time for Japanese Cherry Trees, and the ground is springy-soft and fragrant. Not today, though. Today, we have the only "real" snowfall we've seen all winter. I've promised my children that we'll go play in the snow as soon as we eat lunch. Now I'm wondering if they'll wait until 4 pm for lunch, so that my husband, who will be home from work by then, can take them. Sigh...not likely.

I like fun as much as the next person. I just don't think that playing in the snow is fun. It's cold and wet and what is fun about that? I don't ski. I don't snowboard. I don't ice-skate. And I hate playing in the snow. But I have two little boys who love playing in the snow, so I will play in the snow if it kills me. I just don't have to like it. (and if not for the fact that I have to be IN the snow, I'd love it. It's pretty! It makes everything look beautiful and festive! And as much as I hate playing in the snow, I love the look on my 7yo's face when he wakes up and finds out that school is closed. But still...snow, shovels, wet clothes and mittens...blah.)

While I'm complaining, I'm just about to learn the hard way how comparatively awesome it is to have to write a Marxist analysis of Frankenstein. Compared to what, you might ask? Compared to poetry, that's what. That's right...I hate playing in the snow, and I hate poetry. I'm a prose girl. OK, I like SOME poetry, but the poetry I like was written by William Schwenk Gilbert and James Thurber and Dorothy Parker. In other words, funny, clever, usually rhyming, and requiring no analysis or discussion to divine the author's meaning. I'm afraid that "Critical Approaches to Literature" is not, however, where I will find laugh-out-loud silly verse by Gilbert or Thurber. And another thing...if a story as straightforward as Frankenstein can be subjected to Marxist critical theory, then I can ONLY IMAGINE the tortured turns of thought that I'll be forced to take when I consider The Red Wheelbarrow. Yes, that's on the syllabus. No, I don't look forward to reading it, discussing it, or writing about it. Perhaps you'll think that this is prologue for a later "hey! I was all wrong! I love poetry!" post, but I doubt it. I'm pretty determined to maintain my snotty undergraduate "how can this possibly be relevant to any aspect of life?" attitude re: poetry.

But you know what? A look at my poetry text has done one thing for me: it's made an afternoon rolling around in the effing snow look pretty good! Comparatively, that is.

26 comments:

Sauntering Soul said...

It snowed here in Atlanta yesterday and according to the weather forecasters, the world was about to come to an end. I stayed inside, did laundry, made a pot roast, and did not play in the snow. I'm sorry you have to go outside and get cold and wet.

Also, I don't like poetry either.

catherinette said...

And here I thought I was the only one that thought poetry was boring and rolling about in snow was overrated.

I'm stuck in the same snowy mess as you are...It frenching sucks.

Cid said...

I love snow but I am sick of it after four months. Right now I would kill for something green appearing outside my window. Not likely in the Great White North. And I do love Dorothy Parker.
"Every year, back come Spring, with nasty little birds yapping their fool heads off and the ground all mucked up with plants."

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

It could be worse, they could want you in a pile of medical waste with them.

3carnations said...

I enjoy playing in the snow. It's the prep work before and clean up after. Everyone (including me) puts 85 layers on, and then upon coming in, takes 85 layers off, and tracks snow everywhere, and where to put 3 coats, 3 pair of snow pants, 3 hats, 3 scarves, 6 gloves, 6 boots, 6 wet socks to dry. There should be a neater way of playing in the snow. :)

enc said...

I'm pretty sure you're allowed to hate poetry AND playing in the snow.

Steve said...

i'm with ya hated the snow today
and don't get me started on the wind!
maryland was a pretty miserable place to be today

CDP said...

SS--OK, it wasn't THAT bad. But given the choice, I would so have stayed inside

Catherinette--when did we turn into freakin' Buffalo? It's still cold, AND six inches of snow in March? I did not agree to these conditions when I moved to Maryland. Hmpf.

Cid--where you live, I guess you are required to love snow. But it's just not supposed to be part of the bargain in the mid-Atlantic US states.

Dr. Monkey--OK, I guess that would be worse!

3carn--you know, at least mine are past the "get dressed in 50 items of clothing, go outside for five minutes, ask to come back inside, get undressed and then ask ten minutes later to go back out" stage. But now they're in the "roll around in the snow until they're blue with frostbite" stage.

enc--thank you, I'm relieved! I thought that hating BOTH things would get me ostracized.

steve--I know, it was so cold! It wasn't bad when we were playing out front this morning, but I took my kids sledding in the afternoon, and by 4 pm, it was FREEEEZING.

Matty Boy said...

So I'm expecting poems about snow are among your least favorite things in the whole wide world.

It helps if you sing Robert Frost's "Stopping By Woods On A Snowy Evening" to the tune of Hernando's Hideaway.

Gifted Typist said...

I'm you you sista, love thurber and parker - clever, funny stuff, but not self-conscious, dark-night-of-the-soul stuff

Nice too meet you on Twitter

susan said...

The only way I like snow is looking at it from 55 miles away over there on Mt Hood. It's pretty in the distance.

CDP said...

Matty--I will make an exception for that poem, but not for the "road less traveled" nonsense.

GT--Thank you, now I no longer feel like a Philistine!

Susan--And now I also no longer feel like a Scrooge.

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