Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Film Blanc

The unnamed company mentioned in this post caved to my demands, so the threatened blog campaign will not be necessary.  Just as well, as I'm not sure I have the energy to fight yet another proverbial City Hall.

My children start school on Monday, so summer is all but officially over.  I've resumed the job search, in earnest this time.  I'm ready to work again, even if only part-time.  Having spent the summer with the boys around every day, I'm just not sure what I'll do with myself when they're in school.  And since my severance money is going to run out soon, I feel panicked at the idea of total dependence on my husband.  It's not him, of course.  He won't try to control me or question every penny I spend; it's just that I have never been without my own income and I don't think I can give it up.  I can make less money than I did; that won't bother me at all.  Earning no money at all, however, will bother me tremendously.  So, I'm going to rejoin the workforce, just as soon as the workforce will have me. 

I brought a book of Jeeves and Wooster stories with me to the beach last week.  It had been years since I'd read P.G. Wodehouse, and after weeks of wallowing in Stalin and Putin, it seemed just the thing.  I've been blogging for just over two years now, and those of you who have been reading this blog since then might remember that it was once titled "Aunt Dahlia". Aunt Dahlia is my favorite Wodehouse character, and among my favorite characters in all of literature.  She is loud and blustery, drinks to excess, is prone to “the argot of the hunting field” (she swears like a sailor) and she never misses an opportunity to verbally abuse her nephew Bertie Wooster (“abysmal chump” is one of her, and my, favorite pet names for him) and to embroil him in insane situations. Bertie, young, idle, and wealthy, is always at Aunt Dahlia’s mercy because he knows that if he refuses to do her bidding, he’ll be denied the output of her “supreme French chef”, Anatole. I wanted to name the blog as a tribute to her, but too many people assumed that my name is Dahlia (it’s Claire) and that I was writing in the capacity of someone’s aunt. So after much consideration, I changed it.  I thought of renaming it “The White Dahlia”; as a way to retain the tribute to Aunt Dahlia and as a play on “The Black Dahlia”, although I was afraid that this would be interpreted strictly on a racial level. I’m white, but the idea is not that I’M the White Dahlia, but that my life is rather the opposite of film noir.  I decided to avoid this conundrum altogether by just naming it (parenthetical).

What was the point of that massive digression?  Well, I'm thinking of changing the name of my blog again, but not anytime soon.  More importantly, I'm also trying to stop overthinking to the point of paralysis.  I've only been home for 8 months or so, but I feel like I've fallen far out of the habit of thinking on my feet and making a decision.  The pace out there might be a little too fast for someone who thinks too hard and too long about which household chores to do today vs. tomorrow and which class to take next semester (and "none" is looking like the answer to that question--more on this later).  I've loved being at home this summer, but I've had too much time to spend in my own head.  I need to get out more. 

14 comments:

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

I tried to like the Jeeves and Wooster series that ran on A&E awhile back but I just could not get into it. Good luck on the job search.

dguzman said...

Oh shit, now we're BOTH out there looking for jobs. At least you're on the other side of the country, so I've got a chance.

"Abysmal chump" = awesome.

Lisa said...

I've got a Jeeves and Wooster DVD in the machine right now. It's going to keep my company while I work from home today.

As for you - oh sure, go back to work, if you must (what are you - CRAZY? I'd be thrilled for the chance to be dependent, but that's just me), but don't over-estimate the thinking that's going on out here. Seriously.

Matty Boy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Matty Boy said...

I feel like an abysmal chump for not getting the Wodehouse reference until now.

It says something that even Bertie's beloved aunt has something akin to a threat hanging over his head with her ability to withhold the services of Anatole.

As we know, aunts are not gentlemen.

3carnations said...

Good luck on the job search!

Sauntering Soul said...

Hmmmm, I've never heard of P.G. Wodehouse before this post. I'll have to check it out. My dad's girlfriend's name is Bertie which only gives me extra incentive. My dad's girlfriend also told me I'm fat the first time I met her which has nothing to do with Wodehouse (or your post) but I thought I'd add that in my comment just because. Perhaps if I was a little more Aunt Dahlia-ish I would have said something back to her in return. See? Even more incentive to check his work out - I need to channel Aunt Dahlia to stand up for myself against Bertie, the insulter of fat people.

Good luck on the job search....but I'm with Lisa. Don't overestimate the thinking out there.

CDP said...

Dr. M--it didn't really translate well to TV. The language is what makes Wodehouse so funny, and dialogue is only a part of it. You need to read the narrative to get it.

dguzman--I hope the hiring managers there aren't such abysmal chumps that they overlook you.

Lisa--"Don't overestimate the thinking that's going on out here"--awesome! I love it.

Matty--and you meant that to sting, didn't you?

3carn--thanks!

SS--what colossal nerve. Too bad she's not your dad's former girlfriend. Yes, pick up a Jeeves and Wooster (make sure it's one that includes Aunt Dahlia; not all of them do) and you'll be sure to pick up some ideas on how to deal with people like the girlfriend. She must be dreadful.

BeckEye said...

Until you mentioned that summer is nearly over, I hadn't really realized it. The first half of this summer was all rain, and the other was unbearably hot. I want a do-over!

enc said...

Whatever name your blog has, I'll be here, old wagon!

I love Wodehouse, and that "abysmal chump."

WendyB said...

I'm intrigued by the possible name change.

Distributorcap said...

i wonder where the aunt dahlia came from. having not read much wodehouse - i wouldnt have known

CDP said...

WendyB--It might just be a whole 'nother blog, either in place of or in addition to this one. Must think some more.

Dcap--I bet you would like Wodehouse, you'd get the jokes. If you ever take a vacation which involves lying around a beach or a pool, some Jeeves and Wooster would be ideal reading.

CDP said...

enc--thank you, old thing! (I mean that in the best possible Wodehousian sense of course).

BeckEye--Me too, but I always want a do-over on summer. I'd like for it to last for six months.

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