Sunday, August 30, 2009

The Means, as Justified by The End

I have draft posts saved from Friday and Saturday, and I'm not sure that this one will see the light of day either.  But I'll try again.  It's not that I'm writing about anything difficult; I'm just temporarily uninspired and was so uninterested in what I was writing that I could not bear to inflict it on others.  I'm the worst blogger ever right now, but I'm considerate.  Well, I usually am.

Yesterday, I lent my house for a bridal shower for my sister-in-law, who is getting married on October 10.  Her two close friends wanted to host the shower, but they both live over two hours away (in opposite directions) so they wanted to hold the party here to make it easier for everyone to attend.  I was happy to help, but I'm happier still that it's over.

I think I've mentioned before that I was not a typical bride.  I didn't care about the details of my wedding.  I don't like to be the center of attention, so a pageant of flowers and tulle and taffeta with me as the centerpiece is my very last idea of a good time.  I like being married, and I love going to weddings, but I don't want to have any involvement in the wedding process unless I absolutely have to.  Still, we all have to do things that we don't want to do, and I'll do anything my sister-in-law asks for her wedding or for the wedding of any other bride whom I care about.  You want me to wear something, do something, be somewhere?  Say the word and you have my full cooperation.

But really.

My SIL's BF is a lovely girl, and her mother (with whom SIL is also close, as the girls have been friends for over 20 years) is a very lovely woman.  She is charming, pleasant, positive and apparently also very generous (she cared for foster babies for years).  She also NEVER STOPS TALKING.  The two of them arrived at my house at 10 am so we could prepare food and put up decorations.  The shower was to begin at 1, but BF let us know a bit earlier than that that two of the guests would be "a bit late" and that we wouldn't start the games (of which there were many) until everyone was assembled.  Had I known at that moment that "a bit late" meant TWO AND A HALF HOURS, meaning that the games wouldn't start til after 3:30, I think I'd have objected right then and there.  But I didn't; I said "oh sure, let's wait for everyone". 

By 4:30, I was ready for the party, which had started 3.5 hours earlier, to end.  By 5 pm, I was desperate.  At 6 pm, I'd completely lost my patience.  The very talkative BF and mother had been close by my side for 8 hours at that point.  I was tired and hot, first from having manned the grill  to cook the vegetable kabobs and then from being coerced to wear multiple leis (luau theme) which were part of an ongoing game which I'd describe to you, but I won't.  Even as I was aware that it was rather rude for me to begin quietly cleaning up, I knew that it was far better than the only other alternative, to which I was dangerously close, which would have been to scream "Get out!  All of you, for God's sake, SHUT UP, STOP GIGGLING, and get OUT of my HOUSE NOW!"   Thank God that they all took the hint, and the party finally began to break up by 6:30. By 7:15, my house was nearly clean and empty of all but its resident occupants. 

Perhaps I could have been a little more gracious and patient, but it's entirely possible that the party would still be going on right now if I hadn't taken action.  I can think of no reason why any bridal shower should ever last for more than 2-3 hours at the absolute maximum.  This one had exceeded that absolute maximum  by a full two hours and someone had to put a stop to it.  One other attendee, who'd been there since just before one, had also begun to get slightly restless; the relief and gratitude on her face as I began to clean up was quite apparent.  The others might think badly of me this morning, but not as much as they would had Plan B become necessary. 


Dr. Monkey said...

People visiting is nice, but when they leave it's even nicer.

Suze said...

Honestly, I'd have gone bonkers. I think you handled yourself well.

Sauntering Soul said...

This is why I started packing boxes to move 7 months ago and haven't actually moved yet. My house is a complete disaster so I have a perfect excuse not to host anything.

Steve said...

im sure they thought well of you in the morning. you gave a lot of your time and household to do something nice for those you care for.

3carnations said...

It's hard when people won't leave when you think they should.

My mom visits from out of state once a year, around my son's birthday. We've started a tradition of inviting my MIL over to have dinner at that time, as the moms love to chat it up.

My mom stays in a hotel when she visits (her choice), and the dinner is always on the last evening my mom is here. MIL always hangs around until my mom leaves, which makes it impossible to have a private goodbye with just her, my son and hubby. I've tried to convince hubby that maybe he could persuade his mom to not hang around for 4 hours, but he thinks that would be rude. Oh well.

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