That Shit Doesn't Work, Volume 1, No. 1
The "microwave method" of softening concrete-hard brown sugar, as recommended by the manufacturer? That Shit Doesn't Work. There is also a suggested overnight method, but chances are, you need the brown sugar now, not tomorrow, so That Shit Doesn't Work either (in the interest of full disclosure, however, I must state that I have tested only the former method, not the latter.) If you've begun a baking endeavor for which brown sugar is required and you are past the point of no return, just borrow some brown sugar from a neighbor. This method is 100% effective.
Meanwhile, That Shit Doesn't Work is a new, occasional feature. That Shit Doesn't Work might apply to political philosophies, fashion trends, helpful household hints, or harebrained schemes of the Koreans Tying Strings to Shit variety. Suggestions are welcome.